I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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