Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
