I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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