I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
