if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
