You just made me feel so damn special
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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