Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
