i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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