Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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