those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
