sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize