But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
