i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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