why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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