Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
