i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
