Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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