I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
