I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
