yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
