They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize