did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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