I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
