people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
pop tarts are not kleenex
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
