just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
