i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
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