One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
