tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
