I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
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