I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
