Dual....:-)
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
