Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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