She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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