yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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