I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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