? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
