Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
