i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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