they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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