What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
