While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
