maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize