Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
