And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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