john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
