That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
