ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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