Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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