I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
smell my finger.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize