You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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