I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
