5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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