kristin has been a bad kristin
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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