We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
