1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
