He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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