I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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