Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
